Carl The Entrepenuer Turkey


Emma Becraft, Entertainment Editor

Carl ain’t no run of the mill turkey. Carl is a business turkey. When Carl was a turkling, he wanted to be an entrepreneur. He began selling his rainbow feathers to chickens who wanted to be pretty. Business declined when McDonald’s started using chicken nuggets made out of real chicken. Around Carl’s first Thanksgiving, his mother mysteriously disappeared. Carl made it his lifelong goal to find his mother and the very next day Carl smelled roasted turkey coming from the house. “Well, case closed,” he thought and he continued his entrepreneurship. Carl became an activist for turkey rights such as the right to be a delicious Thanksgiving dinner. Carl eventually retired and began working at Waffle House. Every day he wore his monocle, fake mustache, and $0.73 tie to work. He also brought his handy dandy briefcase with expired ramen noodles in case he needed a quick disguise from anyone who knew it was him who killed Epstein.